There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
