honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
