those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize