His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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