girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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