Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
They took my balls.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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