So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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