No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize