I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
