Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
