please come you make the beer taste better
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
