I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
