I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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