i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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