Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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