Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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