You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Boobs are out for the taking
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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