why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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