You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
