so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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