i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
