will power is for people who don't want to get laid
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
