Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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