People in love make me want to vomit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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