I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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