You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
