Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
