i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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