mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
