I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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