Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this boner is exhausting
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she told me i tasted like america
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
