morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
