I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
