So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
