I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
