My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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