I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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