How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
