i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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