I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize