Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
