She's JV to your varsity
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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