Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
