So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
