put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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