Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
