Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize