He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
