Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
