Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
