dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
