she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
