Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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