Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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