she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
