Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
this hospital has no fireball
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
