what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
