Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
