Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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