The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
