Just took my morning after pill in the library
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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